Monday, February 28, 2005

true RAWK

"Have Love, Will Travel"; finally a song that I'm glad was purchased by a car company. But will Richard Berry get his cut? I've been giving some thought to possible strategies for moral reclamation of this RAWKIN' cut...make a video, with lots and lots of burning Land Rovers? Keep those cards and letters coming!

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Adios, Hunter

Timing, as always, is everything. For someone that stood for MAXIMUM LIBERTY, it seems like an obvious checkout point.

My Rap Sheet

I can tell right now what gorge is rising in the throats of all CMC's "white" readership- "But that's not me!" is the collective whine rising over the land. Liberal petulant insistence that one has "never- never, ever!" been a racist ("ahm zo zorry; ah had no ahdea we employed a rahcist here!"). So it got me to thinking: what is my own culpability in this (rigged) game? Never mind that the question is seriously begged from the start. Here's what I've done and not done:
1) I have been uptight around a hoodlum-looking black dude (or group of black dudes).
2) I have NEVER used the word "nigger" as an epithet
3) I have lost much use for the concept of Black and White. Every person in this country, and everyone you know, is of mixed heritage. So it really should be a non-issue at this point. And it is our duty as Americans to identify with each other (and not just identify each other, AssCroft!)

Even I- a Jewish guy raised in a big, ethnically mixed city (L.A.)- have pretensions towards being "part of the solution, not part of the problem". For instance, I have long thought that one of the only relevant viewpoints on race has been that held by Albert Murray .

But a lot of water still needs to flow under the bridge for everyone to identify themselves as "American". And Crack, why should anyone settle for being a second-class citizen? My point being, why wouldn't your black friends disavow citizenship? I agree that such a pose is a cop-out; what we need is more engagement. But I understand why an impetuous young person might choose to make such a statement.

That's funny!

When Stephen Colbert says "feasting on my ball sack", that shit makes soda spurt out my nose. And I wasn't even drinking soda!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

The Ultimate Power in the Universe

Let us reflect for a moment on the necessity of ROCK (and I know that ALL CAPS equals shouting, but tough titty said the kitty). As is well understood by all intelligent beings and non-beings, and thinking and non-thinking things, ROCK is the ne plus ultra of human expression. And when I say ROCK (you say, HOW HIGH?), I am of course referring to all popular music. That ROCKS. And that includes rap, disco, boingy stuff, trippy shit, and whatever (please reference my previous post re: musical genres). What is that ineffable (or effable) quality of which I speak? It is the outward pushing, emotionally committed, headlong charge into oblivion; or the sonic induction of muscular rictus; or the sudden urge to BANG ONE'S HEAD!!!!!!!

Ah, the transcendent power of Queen. Only music that ROCKS this hard could become this popular amongst the youth despite the quite-obvious homosexual subtext. Ghod, they were good! Freddie we hardly knew ye. How 'bout "Dragon Attack"? And I think the reason that no-one of late has approached this level of artistry is that musicians are, quite simply, afraid. Afraid to let it all hang out- and in this day and age, what with all the boundaries we've crossed as a culture, and the dearth of subjects that will shock, letting it hang out (think about the etymology of that phrase) involves a major act of will and bravery. I mean, even Marilyn Manson and GWAR are raising yawns anymore, and that says a lot about how jaded we all are. It's gonna take some serious atom-bomb style conceptual power to wake the peoples up.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005


Let's get back to basics here. Left, right, who's whining, who's a pain in our ass, and cetera, and cetera, and cetera. Because I think that we're rapidly falling into the Twilight Zone as regards politics in this country. It's like the dog in the cartoon- "Left is right, up is down, dogs and cats living just doesn't add up!!!"

My first question for the Cracked One: what is so outlandish (other than sheer outlandishness) about the various conpsiracy charges that lefties have thrown at our Pinhead-In-Chief? Granted, it's prima facie absurd to even contemplate that any Gummint O-fish-al had anything to do with aiding and abetting the perpetrators of 9/11. It's just as absurd as saying "The Jews Did It"! BUT. There is precedent. Consider the (rather well substantiated) contentions by various historians that FDR had prior knowledge of the Pearl Harbor attack. It's just a short leap from there to total complicity. Every American knows that the "President" knows more than he lets on; this is just best practices for intelligence operations. And every lefty knows that Dubya was in business with the Saudis and Bin Laden from the very start of his career- and so was George the 41st. Crack tells me, "no way in Hell would a sitting President allow 4,000 of his own country's Citizens be murdered." BUT. Every military officer knows that an explicit part of his training is to learn how to order subordinates to their death. So it's not too hard to imagine Dubya letting a bunch of Blue-state functionaries be killed for political purposes.

Question two- or rather, a response. Re: all those whining pseudoliberals, bitching and moaning about how bad young George da Turd is. Yeah, Crack, I'm with you on this. It was tiresome long ago. Now it's just embarassing. BUT. You, yourself, are treading dangerously close to that maudlin state of politicized apoplexy. Flogging a dead horse much? I suppose there's no way to avoid, in this town, the extreme juvenilia that comes out of people's heads. After all, we've STILL got "flower children" hassling us for KIND BUDS on the upper Haight. That's ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, that's STASIS, that's INFANTILE DISREGARD FOR THE WORLD AT LARGE, that's almost SOLIPSISTIC. Even I, a confirmed fan of Chaos and Anarchy (but never, ever, an Anarchist- I'm not interested in any Ism that would hold my member hostage), find it to be Beyond the Pale. And it's been this way for YEARS, nay, DECADES. So GET OVER IT! And that means You too.

"Well, boys, looks like this is it: nuculer combat toe to toe with the Russkies!"


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